My Life. My Struggle. My Healing.

June 13, 2026

I’m slowly trying to build a new life for myself. Some days it feels like everything is moving in the right direction. Other days, it feels like I’m drowning in self-doubt.

I’m trying to discover my talents, my dreams, my motivation, and my ambitions. Sometimes I feel like I’m so far behind. I’m approaching my mid-thirties, and there are days when I still don’t know exactly who I am or what I want to be. I carry so much self-doubt.

One of my biggest struggles has always been feeling like I’m failing. But recently, I’ve realized there’s another struggle hiding underneath that one: the feeling that someone else is always better than me.

I learned that in my relationships.

Someone else comes along, and I’m left behind picking up the pieces of my heart and my children’s hearts. I’ve spent the last few months working so hard to become enough for myself, yet it still hurts knowing that I was never enough for the people who promised they would love me.

So I keep reminding myself that God loves me enough.

I am enough for God.

But even then, there are days when I still feel like I’m falling short.

I’ve been working on everything. The way I look. The way I act. The way I think. The way I survive. The way I respond. The way I listen. The way I drive. The way I move through the world. The way I love.

I’ve worked so hard to become better, and yet sometimes I still feel like I come up lacking.

I wonder when that feeling goes away.

Or if it ever does.

What I’m learning is that healing isn’t just recovering from what happened to you. Healing is relearning who you are after years of being told who you aren’t.

I’m thankful for the friends God has placed in my life. Friends who remind me that I’m talented, kind, strong, and beautiful. Because if I’m honest, those aren’t always the things I hear when I’m alone with my own thoughts.

The loudest voices in my head are often the voices of the people who spent years tearing me down while claiming to love me.

I’m trying to replace those voices with truth.

I’m trying to see myself the way my friends see me.

The way my children see me.

The way God sees me.

But it’s hard to undo something that has been building inside of you for more than thirty years.

So for now, I keep putting my faith and my trust in God.

I pray that He leads me into better days and better situations.

I pray that He provides for me when I’m afraid.

I pray that He protects me and fights battles that I cannot fight on my own.

And maybe most importantly, I pray that He changes the way I see myself.

Because I want to believe the good things about me as deeply as I’ve believed the bad things.

And if you’re carrying those same feelings today, I pray those things for you too.

I pray that God reminds you of your worth.

I pray that He heals the places that people wounded.

I pray that He helps you see yourself through His eyes instead of through the eyes of those who hurt you.

And I pray that one day, both of us look back and realize we were never lacking at all.

Love always,

Kelsey